Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Are these fucks edible?
A: Only if your life insurance is paid up. These are made of PLA, short for polylactic acid, a biodegradable, plastic-like material made from fermented plant starch (like corn). It’s eco-friendly but definitely not snack-friendly. Don't be that person.
Q: Do you have more stuff like this?
A: Not yet, but we’re working on it. One day you might be able to hand out tiny “SHITS,” “DAMNS,” or “RATS’ ASSES.” We might even offer a bag of dicks someday. The future is bright.
Q: Can I request custom colored fucks?
A: If you’re serious enough (and maybe slightly unstable), send us a message. We might just be stupid enough to say yes. We're also open to bribes. Just sayin'...
Q: How many fucks come in a pouch?
A: Fifty glorious fucks. More than you probably have to spare in real life.
Q: How big are these fucks?
A: Just big enough to make a statement and small enough to hide when HR walks by. About 37mm x 12mm x 3mm. Or, for our imperial friends down south still measuring in corn dogs, bald eagles and other freedom units: “a smidge” by “a tad.”
Q: Will giving someone these fucks solve my problems?
A: Absolutely not. But it’ll feel damn good.
Q: Will these fucks melt in the sun?
A: If you leave them on your car’s dash in July, yeah, they might get a little droopy — kinda like your motivation. Keep your fucks somewhere cool, unlike your ex.
Q: Can I throw these fucks at people?
A: Legally speaking, we have to say “no.” Morally? We fully support the idea. Just aim for soft surfaces (or soft heads).
Q: Are these fucks recyclable?
A: Yup! Since they’re made of PLA, a fancy plant-based material that breaks down way easier than regular plastic, they’re kind to Mother Earth. So even if you run out of emotional fucks to give, the planet still scores one. Win-win.
Q: Will these fucks improve my relationships?
A: Only if your relationships thrive on passive-aggressive gestures. Otherwise… probably not.
Q: Do these fucks come with a certificate of authenticity?
A: No. But if it helps, we can send you an email that says “Certified: 100% Genuine Fucks.” Frame it. Impress guests.
Q: What if I lose all my fucks again?
A: That’s kind of the point. Come back for a refill. We’re always here to restock your supply of fucks.